I know it's extremely early for this but my cat Dax (named after a character on ST:DS9) would like announce that she will be running for President of the United States in 2020.
I know there will be some questions but I assure you that she is qualified. She was born in the United States though I admit there might be a problem if anyone demands that she present a birth certificate. Her equivalent age in human years will be 68 in 2020.
More importantly, she has no ties to any foreign governments or to any large corporations. She is, for the most part, quite honest. She has literally never told a lie. She has on a few occasions tried to steal the dog's food and she has been seen licking her own butt but she has never tried to hide these habits and we do not think they will interfere with her ability to serve the nation as President, especially when you consider the habits of some former and soon to be Presidents.
Dax is a peace lover but she does believe in self-defense when necessary. She is in favor of universal health care and enough food for everyone (as long as she gets hers first) so, at heart, she's a Democrat but, as her chief advisor has observed, labels are what is most important to people and since it has recently been demonstrated that Republican voters will vote for anyone as long as he or she is Republican, after much soul searching Dax has decided to run as a Republican.
We hope that she can count on your enthusiastic support.
A can of tuna in every pot?
ReplyDeleteWe could do worse. (And most of the time, we do.)
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